Joke thread 
I have 1900 emails that i can post here
Post the ones you love here 
THE
DUCK Story ( Kiwi law )
A big city lawyer
went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it
fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a
fence.
As the lawyer
climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him
what he was doing.
The litigator
responded, 'I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to
retrieve it.'
The old farmer
replied, 'This is my property, and you are not coming over
here.'
The indignant
lawyer said, 'I am one of the best trial attorneys in New Zealand and, if you
don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you
own.'
The old farmer
smiled and said, 'Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in North
Wairarapa. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick
Rule.''
The lawyer asked,
'What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?'
The Farmer
replied, 'Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick
you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until
someone gives up.'
The attorney
quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take
the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer
slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the
attorney.
His first kick
planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and
dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to
the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his
mouth.
The lawyer was on
all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into
a fresh cow-pie.
The lawyer
summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to
get to his feet.
Wiping his face
with the arm of his jacket, he said, 'Okay, you old fart. Now it's my
turn.'
I
love this part........( read on )
The old farmer
smiled and said, 'Nah, I give up. You can have the
duck.'
Man, those trees looks tasty!!!